Roommates?
by Winter S. Storm
Summary: After Tails' house gets destroyed in a freak accident, and Sonic accidentally destroys Knuckles house, Everyone moves in with Amy, but with Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow and Amy in the same room, nothing's gonna go right! Please Review.
1. Amy's Apartment

This is my first shot at a humorfic, and jokes don't come too easily to my mind, so it might not last long, but I wanna post it anyway. To get to where the humor is, I have to have some kind of plot of how it began, so the first chapter might not be as funny as the rest. The original title of this fic was supposed to be, 'Amy's Apartment', but if I named it that, it might be mistaken for a… I'm most likely talking to myself by now…

**Roomates?  
****Chapter I  
****Amy's Apartment**

Sonic wandered the streets, searching for a place to sleep… "Let's see… Tail's house is ruined, Knuckles' pad doesn't even exist anymore, I don't have a place, Neither does Shadow, Big lives in the wilderness (besides, he'd drive me insane), It would be weird to live with detectives… Where? Tails, Knuckles and them moved in with Amy… What? I can't believe I'm suggesting it, but…"

Sonic stood in front of Amy's Apartment's door. "I want to survive this…" He slowly put his hand to the door. As he was about to knock, he hesitated. "Maybe I don't wanna…"

* * *

Inside…

Tails looked into the eyehole of the door. "Hey! Sonic's out there!"

"Sonic? Get out of the way!" Amy grabbed one of Tails' Tails, tossed him aside, and threw open the door. "Sonic!"

'_Oh, God, why'd I do this?'_ Amy threw herself on him, at which point he passed out for lack of oxygen.

* * *

When he woke up, he imagined none of that happened, but much to his dismay, it was true. He got out ofthe bed, "A bed? What the hell?" and found himself in Amy's room. There was nothing but- "There's nothing but pink and… pictures of me in here!" …pink and pictures of Sonic. He exited into the living room to find almost everyone out there.

"Sonic! You're awake!" Amy ran towards him again.

"Aw, man…"

* * *

He found himself, yet again, in Amy's room. "Ugh… Why do I feel like I've been holding my breath for a long time?" He exited into the living room, again, and again, Amy leaped for him, but this time, Sonic had the presence of mind to duck. Unfortunately for Amy, she went face first into the wall, ending with her being knocked out this time. "Jeez. Almost every time, she gets me knocked out!" He looked around to see Tails, Cream, Knuckles, Rouge, Shadow and Blaze in the room, staring at the blank TV.

"Uh, why are you staring at that TV?"

"We're all too lazy to change the channel." Knuckles stated.

"Uh… It's not even on."

"My point exactly." Sonic grabbed the remote, turned on the TV and tossed the remote to Tails.

"Put something good on."

"Okay!" Tails changed it to Nickelodeon, at which time Spongebob was on.

"Oh God, Tails, not that!" He swiped the remote and changed it to MTV. "Yeah, that's better!" Cream swiped the remote and changed it back to Spongebob. "What?" She stuck her tongue at him. "Gimme that!" Sonic took it again, and changed it back to MTV. Knuckles took the remote and changed it to Comedy Central.

"I'm not watching that!" Shadow took it and changed it to a channel that was playing Resident Evil 2. "Yeah! That's good!" Shadow tossed the remote towards the table. Sonic grabbed it before it hit the ground.

"Hmm. Not bad."

"Aah! It's too scary!" Tails swiped the controller and Sonic swiped it back. "Hey!"

"We're not watching Spongebob!

"Why not? And why are you here, anyway?"

"I needed a place to sleep, and Amy's place was the best candidate, although, I might've made a mistake. By the way, Tails, what happened to your place?"

"It exploded due to one of my chemical experiments."

Flashback…

"I'm gonna make some kool-aid!"

End Flashback…

"Huh. That sucks." Sonic stated. "What about you, Knuckles? Why are you here?"

"You should know! You're the one who blew up my house!"

"Oh yeah! Sorry about that..."

"Yeah sure…"

"What about you Shadow?"

"After Blaze and I got married, I realized I didn't have a place anymore, so I came to Amy's."

"What happened to your place?"

"It's in space."

"What the hell happened?"

"Nothing happened to it!"

"Then why is it in space?"

"The ARK!"

"How'd it get into space because of the ARK?"

"It's not in space BECAUSE of the ARK, it's in space because it IS the ARK."

"Oh." Amy finally woke up and wandered into the living room.

"Hey guys…" She said weakly.

"Hey." Everyone but Sonic said just as weakly. She walked towards Sonic, and upon reaching him, she kneed him in a place he very much never wanted to be injured.

"(whack!) Aww!" Sonic sucked in some air and held his breath. "Why?" He said weakly.

"That's for letting me jump into the wall!"

_'Maybe I deserved it…'

* * *

Nothing more for this chapter. The humor should truly start within the next two chapters._


	2. Camping Trip

New chapter, nothing new to say, but to ask for a review. Could care less whether or not it's a flame, just as long as it's a review. I laugh at the people who flame me… heheh… Your efforts are futile.

**Roommates?  
****Chapter II  
****Camping Trip**

Sonic sat on the couch watching TV. Blaze, Shadow, Tails and Cream are gone. Knuckles walked in. "What are you watching?"

"Cops." Knuckles sat next to him. "Check this out." Sonic rewound the DVR. It showed a guy on a security camera holding up a bank.

"Alright! This is a stick-up! Does anyone have a gun I can use?"

"What an idiot." Knuckles commented. There was a long silence, until Sonic ripped a fart, Followed by Knuckles, and another by Sonic. "Are you challenging me?"

"Oh, no." Rouge says.

"That depends. What do you take it as?" Sonic and Knuckles resumed a fart contest.

"Dear God, we're gonna die! Quick, gimme the phone!" Rouge yelled.

"I don't know where it is!" Amy started panicking.

"What about your cell phone?"

"It's out of minutes! What about yours?"

"It's still charging!"

"Damn it!"

* * *

The rest got back not too long after that (don't ask me where they went). Tails asked, "Uhh, why is there a hazmat truck here?" 

"It's a long story. How about we go camping?" Sonic announces.

* * *

"Why did I suggest this?" Sonic was practically worn out. "How much farther, Tails?" 

"You haven't even gotten to the car yet!"

* * *

As they were walking through the forest, Knuckles had Sonic slung on his shoulder. "Alright. We're here." Knuckles dropped Sonic hard on the ground. 

"What? What's going on? Where are we?"

"We're at the camping grounds."

"But nobody's here."

"We're on Angel Island. This is where I usually set up camp."

"Uhh, right. I gotta pee."

"Just don't pee on the electric fence." Everyone else set up camp while Sonic was (not) peeing on the electric fence.

"Ahhh! It hurts!"

"Idiot. I told him there was an electric fence there."

"WHAT'S THIS FENCE DOING HERE?"

"To make idiots like you pee on it." Sonic crawled back to the tents.

"You're not serious are you…?"

"Hahaha!" Shadow rolled on the ground laughing at Sonic.

"Ugh… Shut up…" He slowly stood up.

"Well, the tents are set up." Knuckles claimed.

"Now what?" Sonic asks.

"Fire?"

"Won't that ruin Angel Island's Forest? Besides, we'd get killed."

"A campfire, not a forest fire."

"Ah, I see!"

* * *

Everyone had gone to sleep, and Shadow woke up with the powerful urge to pee. "Man, I've got a powerful urge to pee." He staggered around the camp trying to find a bush, or at least something. "Ugh, this is good enough."

* * *

Amy woke up. Hearing something strange, she turned on the lantern to see what it was. A silhouette of a hedgehog was outside her tent.

* * *

A light came on, and Shadow realized what he's been peeing on. _'Aw, shit. I knew I shoulda looked some more!'_ He dashed over to some bushes and whispered, "Chaos Control." Amy looked outside, but didn't see anything. Amy started to question her sanity. She wandered back into the tent, when Sonic asked, "Why do I smell pee?"

* * *

Shadow wandered some more and didn't see anything in his way, so he started peeing again, and when his business was done, he got back in his tent and went back to sleep.

* * *

About an hour later, Tails had the same urge. He wandered around the camp to try and find a good place to urinate. He started peeing and, much to his dismay, he had found the electric fence Knuckles was talking about. The screaming and the electric flashes of light woke everyone up. Upon reaching Tails, Rouge asked Knuckles, "Why do you smell like pee?" 

'_Aw, crap. So THAT'S what I was peeing on…'_ Shadow thought.

"I don't know." Knuckles wondered. Sonic dragged Tails back to his tent.

"Watch where you're peeing next time." _'Heh! He made the same mistake!'_ Sonic started on his way back to his own tent, and tripped on a stump.

"Hey, Mr. Knuckles, why do you smell like pee?" Cream asked.

"I don't know!"

* * *

The next day, Knuckles washed up, Amy's phone topped up, and the hazmat team called her cell to tell her that her house was cleaned up. They gathered their stuff up, and went back down to her house.

* * *

Did you catch the unintended (what might be a Limerick) on the last part of the story? Anyway, the next chapter should be interesting. Text ya later! 


	3. My Wife? Your Wife?

To clear something up from the last chapter, when Amy woke up, it was her tent Shadow was peeing on, not her, but he did on Knuckles the second time. Yeah, I probably did overdo it with the peeing, I apologize. I never planned to do something like that, but this chapter I did plan. A few notes. If it gets confusing trying to distinguish between characters speaking, you can pretty much tell when it's Shadow, and Knuckles will only talk when I label him talking, otherwise it's Sonic. Most of the idea for this chapter came from an episode of Conan O'Brien. The next chapter, I extended upon this joke. The random sound effects in this chapter are to censor the words.

**Roommates?  
Chapter III **  
**My Wife? My Wife!**

"Sonic! Get up!" Shadow yelled.

"Aw, shut up!" Sonic threw his shoe out the door, hitting the wall on the opposite side of the hall, not even coming close to Shadow, as he was at the foot of the steps. "Why do I have to get up, anyway?"

"The girls and Tails are gone, and we have to do the housework while they're gone."

"I'm not gonna hafta conduct Tails' experiments while he's gone, am I?"

"… uh... No… Just get up." Sonic stumbled across the hall, and, after much concentration and careful coordination, he still ended up rolling down the stairs. He stumbled across the room and smacked face first into the wall. "Alright, you're gonna need a good wake up call." Shadow pulled out a baseball bat.

"Ah, wait! Maybe we can find another way!" Knuckles intervened.

"Damn it." Shadow whispered.

--

After trying so many things (none of which had to do with a baseball bat), Knuckles and Shadow gave up on trying to wake up Sonic. "Why are you so tired, Sonic? Actually, come to think of it, Amy was the same way this morning. What happened last night?"

Flashback…

CENSORED

End Flashback…

"On second thought, don't tell me. I'd rather not know."

--

The house was cleaned, nothing special to report. "I think we deserve to go somewhere. Sonic, where's the car keys?"

"They took off with my car."

"Damn. And Tails has mine."

"Why don't you just get it back from him?"

"It feels strange talking to him."

"Why?"

"Cuz… I've been sleeping with his wife."

"What!"

"Knuckles, can you do it?"

"I can't." Knuckles responded.

"Why not?"

"Because he's been sleeping with my wife."

"… Sonic, what about you?"

"I've been sleeping with Knuckles!"

"What does that have to do with Ta- Wait, what?"

"No, it's not what it seems. I'll tell you the story." Knuckles quickly says. "This is what happened. One day, while Rouge was on vacation, Sonic realized he didn't have a place to stay."

"It took him fifteen years to realize that?"

"Yeah. Anyway, he came to my house and literally kicked me out of my own house! The next day, I came back to where my house was and it didn't even have a foundation anymore!"

"You shoulda told me the Master Emerald was that strong!"

"You shoulda known from the all the times we spoke of it during our adventures! Anyway, to get back at Sonic, I (censored) Amy, and one night, while Rouge and I were (squeaky), I made the mistake of saying, 'I've had better.'"

"Yeah, Amy's great isn't she?"

"Yeah, She's- hey! Stop sidetracking me! Anyway, I think to get back at me, she went to Tails."

"Why him?" Sonic asked.

"Can't say."

"Then Cream must've found out, cuz she came to me saying Tails wasn't giving her a good time." Shadow said.

"Then Blaze must've found out and came to me!" Sonic announced.

"WHAT? YOU (moo) MY WIFE?"

"Well, she came to me!"

--

All the girls came home saying they were pregnant, not knowing who the father was. "Well, there's only one way to settle this… An episode of Maury!"

--

Wow. I have nothing else to say. Please, just review…


	4. Maury

The Cream situation will be explained in this chapter, and don't get mad at me if Maury's OOC, I haven't seen the show for a long time.

**Roommates?  
****Chapter IV  
****Maury**

All nine of the anthropomorphic animals were on the stage, waiting for the episode to start. Sonic was talking to Tails and Cream.

"Well, why didn't he just ask me for them?" Tails asked. He handed Sonic Shadow's car keys.

"He said he felt strange talking to you, after…"

"Oh… yeah…"

"By the way Cream, how in the hell did YOU get pregnant?"

"Uh, you know how… girls sometimes lie about their age?"

"How old ARE you?"

"Fourteen…"

"Then Tails-"

"I'm still eight."

"Oh. Then that means it's not your…"

"Yeah… Hey! The show's starting!"

--

"Alright! Today we have here four anthropomorphic animals, saying they don't know which of these four are their children's father. First off, tell us what happened."

"Well Maury, it's kind of a long story, but here it goes. One day while my wife was on vacation, Sonic came to my house and tossed me out-"

"Hey! You said I kicked you out!"

"Well, you still threw you out of my house!"

"But throwing or tossing isn't the same as kicking!"

"The meaning doesn't have to be literal- stop side-tracking me, damn it! Anyway, I came back the next day to find that my house doesn't even have a foundation anymore." At which point, the audience jeered and booed Sonic.

"What the hell?" he says.

"Shut up!" Knuckles yelled at the audience. "Let me Finnish."

"Your Finnish?" Sonic asked.

"No, I mean, let me fish. Finish! Anyway, to get back at Sonic, I (quack)ed Amy." The audience booed Knuckles. "Why are they doing this?" he asks Maury.

"They do this all the time, just continue."

"Anyway, after my wife and I (heehaw), I made the mistake of saying, 'I've had better.'" Both Rouge and Amy looked away. "So, she went to Tails."

"He seemed like a trustworthy person." Rouge said in her casual voice.

Says Shadow, "Then Cream must've found out about it, cuz she came to me."

"And then his wife came to me!" bursts Sonic.

"Then that's basically it." Knuckles finished.

"Alright, we'll be back with the results, right after these commercials!"

During Commercials…

"Sonic, you'd better not be my wife's child's father, otherwise I'll have to kill you!" Shadow yelled. "It might not be today, It might not be tomorrow, It might be sometime this week, but I don't know yet, but I will kill you…"

"Why would you want to kill me? Wouldn't you want to make me suffer?"

"Good idea!"

"Oh damn." Sonic pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Uh, yea, mental ward? I got a patient for ya. Yea. He's black and red. A hedgehog. Yeah, he did. Lots of banks, too. Can you pick him off- I mean...up, next week? Okay, good. Bye."

"Damn hedgehog."

End Commercials

"Alright, we're back. And we got the results. In the case of Amy's child, Sonic, you ARE the father."

"Phew." Sonic sighed.

"And in the case of Rouge's child, Knuckles, you ARE the father."

"Sweet."

"And in the case of Blaze's child, Shadow, you are NOT the father."

"What the hell?" Shadow yelled.

"Ah, shit." Sonic sighed.

"I'm gonna kill you, hedgehog!"

"No!" Sonic and Shadow ran around the room at supersonic speed. Amy stood up, pulled out her Piko Piko Hammer, and tried to slam Shadow across the room, hitting Sonic instead. It sent him flying into the wall, knocking him out.

"AAH!" Amy screamed.

--

The Technical difficulties screen appears for about ten seconds

--

"Alright, we're back. Sorry about that." Maury said. "Now we're on to the next person. In the case of Cream's child, Sonic, YOU are the father."

"I never expected it to be me anyways… Wait, Sonic?" Tails freaked.

"Hold on, we're not done yet. In the case of Sonic the hedgehog, Shadow, YOU are the father!"

"SHADOW?" Sonic was surprised.

"Uh, yeah… there's a reason we both have super speed…" Shadow started.

"You asshole! Who's my mother?"

"That's it for today's show!"

--

Betcha never expected that! Anyway, the mental ward joke is going to come in to play in a few chapters, don't know when… Please Review!


End file.
